Melancholy

When I was a child, I used to be scared of death. I’d sometimes (somehow) end up thinking about the fact that the world as I know it only exists through my eyes, and that will be lost when I’m no longer here. Then I’d think about that… not being here. The thought of everything fading to black terrified the hell out of me and I had many sleepless nights thinking about it. Pretty heavy stuff, for a kid.

But which is worse, that, or a fear of life? What I occasionally have now is an overwhelming feeling that I’m quite unimportant and nothing really matters. At times like these I get very upset about, well, everything and just can’t face another 40 or so years of life. It’s not a constant thing, and I do feel much better after a while, but I don’t know if this is usual or if I really do need some help.

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Discussion about this post

  1. almost witty says:

    But you *are* important. To the people around you – and that's not something you can fake. Or the fact that people still remember you 10 years after they first encountered you on the Internet!

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